♡

my heart rate was as as fast as a heart attack. is that how you explain it? something like that. it could have been serious. i don't know.
i wonder what is going on in there. should i be worried? i get pains from hearing your name and my heart races when i hear your voice so fast i can't tell if it's because i'm nervous or angry i don't know anymore. i only know that every ache and pain i associate with you. i get stomach aches and head aches and eye sores and i think of you.

i remember when 
i used to listen to your pulse with 
my ear on your chest or my finger on your wrist. 
i only thought i did this to you, but i guess 
i wouldn't know. did you used to check if i was real? then 
i would feel my pulse to see if we were in sync. but 
i could never tell.

i remember testing to see if 
i could make your heart race. if it sped up when 
i said 'i love you' 
or something, but 
i could never tell.
i wonder what is going on in there. how broken are we, really?